Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Last night I took the little man to Tanners Orchid.  It is a nice little get away near our home town. They have apples fields, pumpkins, farm animals, and a large playground.  Overall the perfect place for a two year old to run and play.  I was so pleased with myself.  I had given my child an experience, a memory.  We took pictures, fed the animals, climbed on the equipment, we had a good time.  What could have been better?

It didn't hit me until this morning that while we were at Tanners we were supposed to beat at tumbling!  I had to think twice.  Really was yesterday Tuesday?  It felt like I had been kicked in the stomach.  Not only had we missed his class but I didn't even call to let the coach know.  How irresponsible did I look?  I realized that I had a million reasons as to why I would have forgot.  It was a day full of running around.  I had stayed at my moms the night before, met with my advisor, made the hour drive home (toddler in tow) and  studied for an exam, but none of that mattered.  In my head I had in fact failed as a parent.

It didn't matter to me that we had missed tumbling because I was trying to give my little guy a fun trip.  It didn't matter that he loved the experience.  All I could think is that I forgot his tumbling class.  In twenty years will it matter? probably not.  So why can I not shake the feeling that I failed?

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