Wednesday, December 31, 2008


2008 is coming to an end.  I alway get depressed on new years.  It is not that I have regrets of the year past but simply that it is over.  I am very bad with endings.  In remembrance of this past year I am here to discuss the many accomplishment I have made this year.  Tonight is sure to be full of dancing drunkeness so I better get it out of the way before they start pouring the champaign!
This year I have:
-let go of all the expectations other people have of me
-realized that I am a great mother and a fabulous friend
-made it through my first semester at a big university
-learned that I am much more insightful than I ever knew
-changed my major
-kissed my little man seventeen billion times
-learned to let go of the little things and enjoy life as is
-made a budget
-went over budget
-started blogging-
-made it through one of the biggest challenges I had yet faced
-let go of love that was bad for me
-let go of all the people who were brining me down
-lost twenty five pounds! Go me!
-went vegetarian for three weeks
-vegan for three days
-celebrated Aidens second birthday
-met Brett Miachals
-went to my very first concert
-laughed with friends
ok that will do for now.
It has been a good year, next year will only get better. I wish you all a Happy New Year!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Help me out!

What a day it has been! 
If you look closely behind us you will see Aiden's newly cleaned and organized room!
More pictures to come!
Needless to say it was time to take on the challenge. I am not sure what is more sad the fact that I threw out three boxes of toys or the fact that Aiden didn't even notice.
So a lot of changes are coming to my might get exciting
Hold on to your seat!
I would like to do a question and answer section sooo email me at any questions that I can answer.
(make them good)

Monday, December 29, 2008

Happy Monday!

We have been home hanging out all day long!
I think we have played with every Christmas present he got.
(since he was gone all weekend we had to make up for lost time!)
I am still exhausted from Christmas followed by a long weekend which got me thinking today.
Times that I wish I was married when:
-I desperately need a nap
-I return from the store and find out I need dish-soap
-I realize how badly the trash needs taken out
-I have to carry four bags of groceries inside while entertaining a toddler
-I want to take a bath and read a good book
-I am trying to throw out some of this kids toys
-Aiden throws his toys I am throwing out all over his room
ok ok ok 
enough venting
I really do enjoy being a single mom
I enjoy the intimacy I share with my son and the bond we have created
However, I wouldn't mind a nanny?

So it is your turn!
If you are married: I wish I wasn't married when:
If you are single: I wish I was married when:

Lets see what great answers we can get!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

how exciting am I

 I got him to sleep^ Oh yeah I still have it :)

I always find it hard to write on days when Aiden is not here.
He is at his dads for the weekend and quite frankly when he isn't here nothing fun happens.
I mean do you really care what I did with my day?
oh wait its my blog and I can say what I wish
so here we go!
Here is the excitement I experienced today!
Last night I went out with a few friends and didn't get into bed until 4:00 this morning. 
I was up at 8:30 to go to work...where I had to cook
then I came home
oh and I did a load of laundry!
Excitement? Oh I think So!
soooo lets play a game right now.
If you just read this ultra exciting post leave me a comment
tell me what you did on your soggy saturday!

Friday, December 26, 2008

Merry Christmas to all

It is over!
No more hustle bustle. 
No more cookie baking. 
No more present wrapping. 
No more exhausted children.
I am kidding. This was the best Christmas we have had as a family so far. Aiden actually got it this year! He knew Santa was coming and that he left him gifts.  Aiden put the cookies out and hung up his Christmas socks.  It is hard to believe that he will be three soon.  It seems like yesterday I was bringing him home! 
ok...getting teary eyed now.
We had a great Christmas!
I hope all went well with you
tell me about it?

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

oh the places I have been

So it has been three days.  I am not sure my mother is ever leaving.  If there is one thing you should know about me and my mother we are complete opposites.  We have opposite views on everything.  Religion, politics, child rearing.  It is all driving me INSANE.  Despite the fact that this apartment was built for two.  It was almost certainly not built to room a mother of mine and all of her belongings in my living room! I hate to say this but I cannot wait till Christmas is over. It is becoming a little overwhelming.

We decided yesterday was the perfect day for family pictures! Aiden was perfect and smiled and posed like it was his job!  However, I cannot stand sales people or long lines or bad traffic.  It was stressful but oh the pictures turned out beautiful!

On a lighter note...I attended my first drag queen show last night! It was quite the experience. I stayed out way to late and partied way to hard.  Therefore, I spent most of today hovering over the toilet.  I apparently am too old to party anymore.  Hopefully this week gets better. I wish all of you a very merry Christmas!

To my Italian friends:
Buon natale! Tutti me amo!

(I hope that means Merry Christmas! I love you all!)

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Holiday Traditions!

We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!
(that was caroling the 2008 way!)
Now that we have one more Christmas tradition out of the way let me show you what else we accomplished today!
p.s. I am writing this from Aidens "tent" 

Aiden baked cookies for the first time ever>>>>
It was the cutest thing ever! He is going to be such the little baker!

We cuddled up and watched a parade and chowed down on all of our delicious cookies! 
It is beyond cold here and I refuse to leave the house! 

I changed things around a bit on here today!  I am having fun seeing all the fun things I can do! I have a little slideshow of some of my favorite things down at the bottom! I hope to expand that but it is hard to think of favorite things!!

Also feel free to find me on 

Merry Christmas to all and all a good night!
Can I get out of this tent now?

ALSO: I am taking up VLOGGING! 
(Video Blogging)
So keep watch my first vlog  will be up soon!

Friday, December 19, 2008

My new adventure

He put his glove on all by himself! >>>>>

I decided this week I wanted to be a freelance writer. I have spent the past two nights searching for jobs information anything I can find.  (If you have any advice please hand it over)  My friends are laughing and me and my new adventure.

 I have come to terms with the fact that I go through phases.  I was going to start a daycare, sell homewares, open a gift shop, be a weight loss consultant.  There were many more phases that I wont even begin to name.  

My friends swear this blog is a phase.  I believe they have bets over how long it will be until I'm over it. 

Thursday, December 18, 2008

past coming back

me in 2005

After reading one my new faveorite bloggers blog girlsgonechild

After reading about the girl she used to be it made me think of the person I used to be.  

I was seventeen when I got pregnant.  Still saying that makes me cringe a little.  I was a child having a child.  Yes I have grown up and become a great mother and role model for my little man. 

 It is still hard to look at pictures of me before I was a mom.  I was so free and wild.  My mother worked a lot my father wasn't around so there was little restrictions.  I was consistently at parties drinking leaving with random men.  I was reckless with my life.  I cannot say that I would go back there if I could.  I am not sure that I could live that life again.  It still is hard to look around and think how did I get from there to here?  

I used to be scared when I heard about mothers leaving their families.  I was scarred that I would one day break and leave. That was my biggest fear.  I am known for being impulsive.  I make decisions quick and once I get on a roll I can't quite.  Lately I realize that is no longer a fear.  I am in this for the long haul.  This little man stole my heart.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Ring Leader

Sooo I ran across this little drawing the PBN is hosting! They have partnered up with big tent  and are giving away a $250 gift card to Target! Who wouldn't want to win that? So the question they are asking is: What will I being doing in 2009 to make my "circus" easier, better, and just plain more manageable?  I love this question because quite frankly I am not doing the best job at circus leader lately! This circus is a mess! So here is my plan:

1) Consolidate: Get rid of all the things we don't need.  We do not need 12 pairs of shoes or 700 balls rolling around the house.  I want to take all of the things we don't need and give them to Goodwill.
2) Find a place for everything: I am tired of searching around the house for things.  Everything should have a home!
3) Keep a calendar: Lets face it I have to many things going on to not write things down!  I want to start writing in my date book so I don't you know...miss a doctors appointment?
4) Make a system:  I have a desk and a filing cabinet.  I have more storage than any women I why is everything piled on my desk?

That is all I have come up with so far! lets face it I have a long way to come!  Baby steps anyone?

What are you going to do to make your circus run a little smoother?

Friday, December 12, 2008

what to do!

It is eleven o' clock and I just woke up! I am not sure when the last time I slept this late was but it feels nice!  Aiden is at his fathers and I have the entire day off.  I have a list of a million things I should accomplish today but you know what I really want to do?  Sit here and cozy up! Who knows what I will really accomplish today! So far I have written this post!  What are you doing today?

p.s.Check me out at

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


I was forced to go back for a second shopping trip yesterday.  We ended up two hours from home when an ice storm broke out.  We visited with some friends and waited out the snow.  We finally arrived home exhausted and overworked at eleven o'clock last night.  I have two finals today.  I am pretty sure I just failed my first one and am currently preparing for my second now.  However, I do not feel guilty.  It is strange for me not to feel bad.  I feel bad when I'm late, tired, sad, when I  don't get the laundry done, don't do the dishes, forget something at work, don't call someone back.  In other words I feel bad for EVERYTHING.  This week I decided to give it up.  Boycott the guilty feeling.  It is finals week (most stressful week of the semester) Aiden became a big brother (another stressful situation) the christmas tree is up, the presents are bought.  I have given up meat and pop.  I wrote my blog and quite frankly I have little energy left for guilt.  So I gave it up.  I will do what I can no more no less.  If i fail one test so be it.  If I forget one phone call life will go on. It is refreshing.  I am not sure how long it will last, but try if.  You might just enjoy it.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Our big Adventure

I may be the coolest mom alive...or the stupidest
we started our day at the mall...this was as close as he would get to santa...the first time

Next we were off to Chuckee Cheeses....yes he was THIS excited

After the rides and the trip to toys r us we ended our day with a second trip to the mall. Aiden changed his mind.  He wasn't scared of Santa and would not stop crying until I agreed to take him back.  He did shake Santa's hand and all is well.
Except for the fact that I left a store with my purchases still sitting in the tomorrow we are making a second shopping trip.
The joy of holidays!!!!

santa is coming to town

Someone is waiting for Santa Clause....just kidding he was watching the trash man take our trash!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Grandpa Kenny

Aiden just informed me that Grandpa Kenny used to jump out of airplanes and he broke Mary.  Kenny is my father whom Aiden has never met and I have never mention.  It is nice to see my mom is giving him a broad view of his grandfather! 

Saturday, December 6, 2008

so old

I am 21 years old. I am sitting at home on a Saturday night.  Except for Aiden I am alone.  I still am planning what I will be when I grow up.  I still am working on plans for crazy trips I want to take and things I want to do.  I still have the majority of my life left to live.  So why am I so content being here under my blankets watching a movie and writing a blog?  When did I get so old?

Monday, December 1, 2008

we have a winnner

I finally have a winner from our drawing last week! 
Congratulations Lauren from Diva's world
Sorry I havent posted holidays have been crazy! 
Ill have something more exciting to say tommarow!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Hand Foot Mouth

Aiden woke up in the middle of the night Monday crying.  "My mouf huwrts mom!" He wimpered through the night and we headed to see the pedeatrician the next morning.  He was such a good little guy.  The nurse said where does your mouth hurt (I still am assuming he has a sore throat)  He pulls down his lip to reveal these little sores covering it.  I wanted to cry.  I could tell how much pain he was in.  He had a rash I had noticed to.  Yep. you guessed it. Hand foot mouth disease.  So I have spent the past two days locked in the house with this sick little guy trying to nurse him to health.  He is getting better but continues to milk it for all that he can get:) Pray that I dont lost my patience or my mind.  For it is being tested this week! Thank you for all that entered the giveaway I am leaving it up until the end of the week.

Happy Thanksgiving!
Gobble Gobble!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

a little early..

Give Away Time!!!

So here is the deal! I am giving away this package of Avon care products! They will help you relax and look beautiful this holiday season! Simply post a comment with your answer to this weeks question. (along with your link or email) I will draw on Friday for a winner!  

(If I get a large enough response I may do this every week until Christmas! so spread the word)

Question of the week:
What is your worst mothering moment?
be creative!


I took Aiden swimming last night! It amazes me how big hes gotten he moved through that water like a little fish.  Just thought I would share!

what is your kids favorite past time?

Friday, November 21, 2008


It's friday!!!

Aiden has been at his dad the past two nights! ugh I miss that little man when he is gone! I cant wait to pick him up after class today :)  My post is up at Check it out and let me know your thoughts.  I am going to see Twilight tonight with a couple of friends (I am a little curious to see what all the fuss is about)  I realize I have just rambled this entire post...but...its a rambling sort of day!

Happy Friday mommy bloggers!!

Thursday, November 20, 2008


I will be announcing some Christmas giveaways  I will be hosting Monday.  This is the busiest time of the year so I am going to be giving away some gifts to help you relax! Check back Monday for more details!! I am so excited this is my first giveaway!!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Wordless Wedensday

My little genius

I woke up this morning with Aiden next to me.  I think it was about five a.m. when he snuck into bed with me.  I allowed it because it doesn't happen often. My alarm went off and Aiden hopped up like he had been waiting for me to wake up. (which is totally out of character for him)  He sat up next to me
"Mom, sit up"
so I sat up
"Let's talk, Whatchu been up to?"
My heart melted.  I am still not sure when my son went from being that infant I rocked to sleep to this little person capable of having full conversations with me.  His vocabulary and love for knowledge astounds me.  My friends are always amazed at Aidens curiosity.  He always wants things explained to him until he understands.  The amount of things he is able to comprehend just amazes me.  Ok I am done baby least for now!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


The hardest thing I have found yet to do as a single mother is take a bath.  We live in an apartment that doesn't have a shower.  I have no choice but to take a bath each and every morning.  I have tried everything from bribing Aiden to sit on the couch to bringing toys in the bathroom for him.  Still I find him standing next to the bath tub asking question after question.  With each response I get the same reaction WHYYYYY!  I wait for the day when climbing into a hot bath is relaxing. When reading a book in the bathtub is a realistic idea.  Sometimes I sit in the tub myself saying WHYYYY! :) 

p.s. I got a new hair-do what you think???

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Rainy day

Its is raining and cold! I have been stuck inside with a two year old the entire day! To those of you that are stay at home moms....God Bless You!  I look forward to Tuesdays every week. I get to spend the entire day at home with my baby.  This is the first Tuesday that it has been to cold and gross outside to go anywhere!  Except for our run to the store which took more of my patience than it should have!  We have been struggling to keep busy all day.  The thing about boys...they run and jump and scream constantly!  We get to go to tumbling soon whew out of the house! 

Give me your favorite rainy day activities. I have a feeling this is going to be a long winter!

p.s. I love my baby and realize he will only be this small so long :(

Oh and I won a starbucks gift certificate over at! Go check her out!

Monday, November 10, 2008


When I had Aiden I was only 18.  I was young and scared and was not sure how I was going to handle being a mother.  As Aiden grew I learned.  I watched him and realized that mothering was something that came quite naturally.  I realized something watching Aiden grow that had never occurred to me before.  My mother was human.  She was not some super women who was taught how to handle every situation before it came. She was instructed on how to raise me step by step. 

For a long time I held a lot of things against her.  I began to realize that many of the mistakes she made anyone could have made.  I cannot say that I have forgiven her for everything.  With the realization she was human I also realized how powerful the love of a child is.  Sometimes I think back to the things I went through growing up.  Things were not always handled in the best way.  Seeing how much I love Aiden and everything I would do for him it is hard to understand what she was thinking sometimes.  

I guess you learn as you go.  Maybe one day  I will understand.

Sunday, November 9, 2008


I grew up in the Catholic church.  I went through Sunday school, got my first communion, confirmation the whole works.  When Aiden was born he was baptized in the Catholic church just like I was supposed to do.  It wasn't until recently that I really started to question my beliefs.  I started searching for answers to questions I always secretly asked.  While searching I found that I was not the only person in the world with the same questions.  My family never supported my curiosity.  Rather than allowing me to find my faith they handed it to me.

Last night I became a Godmother. I am still searching for many answers. I am still trying to figure out all of my beliefs.  The one thing that I promise to give my Godchild is support.  I will support him in all of his questions about the faith.  I will help him to understand and find his own place in the church, and I will support his curiosity.  Faith is not something you get.  It is something you build.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Social Vibe

I just put a social vibe link on here. Social vibe is definitely something to look in to.  You sign up and earn points and sponsors give money to your favorite charities based on the points you earn! It is kind of fun AND there are some really cool charities to look at.  Link through me (I get extra points!) 

I just put a link of my favorite blogs also...I just figured out how to do them! Check them out and enjoy!
My first blog on 5 minuets of parenting is up today! check it out! I have to say I was extremely nervous after I wrote it.  It seemed like I was barring a little bit of my soul but after all of the loving comments I see that many of us mothers share the guilt we feel inside.  It is good to know I am not alone!  

Aiden's father decided he wants joint custody of Aiden.  I find myself questing my parenting methods more now than ever before.  It seems like I have try extra hard to prove that I am the mother I should be.  I am trying to be calm and know that everything will turn out for the best but it is hard to be sure.  Keep us in your thought!

love love love
and thanks for the comments!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

I realized that I completely missed yesterday and where the day went I am not completely sure.  I am having writers block which scares me considering I just started blogging recently.  My main website will be up soon! I am more excited than you can imagine.  I will still keep this blog as a parenting blog and my other site will be much more general.  Ill link it soon! :)

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Earlier I mentioned some issues I have had being a young mother.  Tonight I was reminded why being a young mother is so fun.  I was able to impress a four year old with my selection of music on my I-pod. :) I'm young. I'm hip! haha

I voted today.  First time ever.  That is as deep as I am going into the subject of politics.  Quite frankly I think we are all a little glad its almost over.

I have been thinking a lot lately about discipline.  Most simply telling your children no.  There are some parents who respond to  every curious little question with a stern NO. On the other extreme there are parents who wouldn't tell their kids no if you paid them.  So where is the middle ground?  How do you decide what is ok and what is not.  This I think is harder for me being a young mom.  Some people think the constant running a young mom has to do is the hard part. HA! The hard part is instilling values into your children.  How do you decide what is ok and what is not when you are still trying to decide for yourself?  Maybe we all struggle with this..I'm not sure feed back would be nice :)

Monday, November 3, 2008

whew! talk about manic Monday!

After having a stressful fight with Aiden's dad last night (I finally took a stand on something) my mind was in a haze all day. I missed my exit to get to school and somehow got myself there! (this is amazing considering I have no sense of direction) by the time I got home at 3 I wanted nothing more than a nap! Thats the hardest part of the juggling act getting home and enjoying your time there...oh the guilt!

We are going out to dinner with my family shortly.  Aiden's dressed and clean(after I wiped the eyeshadow he just rubbed all over his face off)  and I put my pearls Suzie homemaker of me.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

As a single parent in such a busy world it is easy to become overwhelmed.  Stress is a part of daily life.  After the homework is done and dishes are put away and Aiden is tucked into bed at the end of the day that silent time can be the hardest.  That is the time you wish that you had someone to share your day with.  Someone to laugh at your clumsiness and listen to your fears.  It is the time that you wish you could have someone to share the joyous ride of parenthood with.  As single parents the biggest people in our lives are often our friends.  Sometimes all we need is someone to vent to. someone to listen.  I found this quote in Oprah magazine and it touched me.  Enjoy!

"WHEN WE HONESTLY ASK which persons in our lives mean the most to use, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand.  The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate no-knowing, not-curing, not-healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness...makes it clear that whatever happens in the external world, being present to each other is what really matter." -Henri J.M. Nouwen

Saturday, November 1, 2008

wow its November!  I went to write a check today and couldn't believe that it was already November.  Honestly where has the year gone?  It seems like time goes faster and faster.  I think if it wasn't for my constant picture taking I wouldn't know how to count the time.  I know that we had a summer because I have pictures but I don't feel like I had a summer because it went soooo fast!

Friday, October 31, 2008

I decided if I was going to blog today I better do it now. sigh.  I don't really have much to say. Aiden is at his dad's tonight.  I worked late last night and I am running on about six hours of sleep.  Thank God for coffee!!  Im praying they arn't still working on the bridge today..pray with me:)  I know I just rambled but its all I can do right now.  Time for class..then work...then hopefully bed:)

Thursday, October 30, 2008

The end of the week stress is starting to set in.  Most people work the traditional nine to five monday through friday schedule.  The weekend is a time to lay back and relax.  Not me!  The weekend is when things start to get frantic!! 

Today was my day off which only means I didn't have class.  We spent the day running errands cleaning house and doing all the things that have been neglected all week.  On top of that I had to take the little man to get his portrait taken in his costume...ok i didn't HAVE to.  Somewhere between carrying the laundry into the house and trying to wash the dishes and explaining to the little guy why exactly he couldn't throw the big bouncy balls in the house that it hit me.  This was not a job meant for one person.  I have never been a married parent or even a parent part of a couple I have since day one been a single mother.  I never knew anything different.  People commend single parents and I think what's the big deal?  Its not THAT hard.  In truth its manageable.  But if you let yourself really sit down and think about how much more you could accomplish with a partner's down right depressing.  

It was this moment that my little guys dad called to inform me he was coming over early to pick him up.  Which meant waking a two year old up from a nap and getting him dressed.  That was the moment I rethought my previous statement. Maybe it would be easier to do it all alone :)

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Could he get any cuter? 
Enough said.

Last night I took the little man to Tanners Orchid.  It is a nice little get away near our home town. They have apples fields, pumpkins, farm animals, and a large playground.  Overall the perfect place for a two year old to run and play.  I was so pleased with myself.  I had given my child an experience, a memory.  We took pictures, fed the animals, climbed on the equipment, we had a good time.  What could have been better?

It didn't hit me until this morning that while we were at Tanners we were supposed to beat at tumbling!  I had to think twice.  Really was yesterday Tuesday?  It felt like I had been kicked in the stomach.  Not only had we missed his class but I didn't even call to let the coach know.  How irresponsible did I look?  I realized that I had a million reasons as to why I would have forgot.  It was a day full of running around.  I had stayed at my moms the night before, met with my advisor, made the hour drive home (toddler in tow) and  studied for an exam, but none of that mattered.  In my head I had in fact failed as a parent.

It didn't matter to me that we had missed tumbling because I was trying to give my little guy a fun trip.  It didn't matter that he loved the experience.  All I could think is that I forgot his tumbling class.  In twenty years will it matter? probably not.  So why can I not shake the feeling that I failed?

here it goes..

So here it goes my first blog post:)
I live in a small town with my two year old little man.  I am currently going to school to get my bachelor in philosophy...don't ask what I am going to do with that.   I still am unsure!  I work part time at a small town bar. (my education never ends there)  

So why a blog?  Everyones wondering I know. Why is this single mom who goes to school and work and chasing a crazy two year old taking the time to write a blog?  Because I want to! yep! you heard it here! I knew I needed something separate, a project that was completely mine, so here it is my outlet.  You get to watch me rant and rave and share all of my small triumphs.  
so get ready
the ride begins...

A few of my favorite things!