Thursday, December 18, 2008

past coming back

me in 2005


After reading one my new faveorite bloggers blog girlsgonechild


After reading about the girl she used to be it made me think of the person I used to be.  

I was seventeen when I got pregnant.  Still saying that makes me cringe a little.  I was a child having a child.  Yes I have grown up and become a great mother and role model for my little man. 

 It is still hard to look at pictures of me before I was a mom.  I was so free and wild.  My mother worked a lot my father wasn't around so there was little restrictions.  I was consistently at parties drinking leaving with random men.  I was reckless with my life.  I cannot say that I would go back there if I could.  I am not sure that I could live that life again.  It still is hard to look around and think how did I get from there to here?  

I used to be scared when I heard about mothers leaving their families.  I was scarred that I would one day break and leave. That was my biggest fear.  I am known for being impulsive.  I make decisions quick and once I get on a roll I can't quite.  Lately I realize that is no longer a fear.  I am in this for the long haul.  This little man stole my heart.

2 comments:

Lauren said...

You seem to be a very strong young woman. In every photo that precious boy is smiling. You're doing a great job and I love reading you blog. Hope you both have a wonderful holiday!

Z's Mom said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog today! Aiden is absolutely adorable!!!!

This is the sweetest post...and I know how you feel. I can't even imagine going back to life before Zander....it would be so empty and unfulfilling. They do have a way of making you fall in love with them, don't they? ;)

Oh, and keep blogging..its totally therapeutic! And....something you can pass on to Aiden....get it uploaded into a book and give it to him when he's older.

A few of my favorite things!